


At Night

by pdorkaa



Category: Good Morning Call (TV)
Genre: Angst, Gen, Smoking, poor boy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-06
Updated: 2017-12-06
Packaged: 2019-02-11 07:49:46
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 438
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12930795
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/pdorkaa/pseuds/pdorkaa
Summary: He loves Uehara, he does, because for all that the guy is a bastard he is a good friend, and he loves Yoshikawa, because--





	At Night

**Author's Note:**

> idk why, i headcanon that natsume smokes. sorry?  
> also fuck this show okay it wasn't even _that_ good and i'm having so many feels

If someone knew him only in passing, they would say Natsume isn't the emotional type. It's not as much a line of defense but second nature to him, masking his thoughts behind an easy smile and a stupid joke. It's not a role; it's part of himself, and he is infinitely thankful for it.

It's not like he had anything to hide, anyways. Maybe now he does, but before, he just didn't care. A pretty girl, a meal and a smile were enough, and he never knew what he was missing but he'd never cared to find out either.

But now, now he knows, and he can't quite manage to decide whether he wants that sweet ignorance back or not.

He runs his fingers through his hair. It's getting long, again, and he'd worry about when to cut it, but--somehow, he'd found something that goes deeper than appearances, and he's not sure anymore.

Why him, though? It's not like he asked to fall in love, _mendokuse_ , he doesn't need it!

Sometimes he wishes everything could go back to the way it was. Other times he wishes nothing changed, and it's this line of thinking that landed him in this bottomless pit, he knows and doesn't stop.

Yoshikawa (not Nao-chan, because calling her Yoshikawa is Uehara's thing, another reminder), smiling; an image that will be carved into his mind forever, and he loathes it and loves it and nothing makes sense anymore.

With a sigh, he slides out of his bed and tugs a jacket on, then steps out to the balcony.

The click of a lighter and the puff of smoke calm him the way few things do, and he looks out over the dimmed city lights. It's quiet and chilly, the low hum of the city a comfortable backdrop for his rattling thoughts.

I'll lose my womanizer title if I keep dithering, he thinks with a half-hearted chuckle, and flicks his cigarette butt down onto the street. As he heads back inside to pull the covers tightly around him, he wows he'll get rid of these pesky feelings.

He loves Uehara, he does, because for all that the guy is a bastard he is a good friend, and he loves Yoshikawa, because--

Anyway. He wants them to be together, he wants them to be happy. (He doesn't, but he carefully buries that thought before it can form properly.) He's going to forget about them, he's going to forget about Yoshikawa, and he's going to be the friend to them that he was meant to be.

Natsume doesn't know, not yet, that it doesn't work that way.


End file.
